June 6, 2011

Church Fashion Don't

I can't stop thinking about an atrocity that I witnessed at church. It was definitely the scandal of the weekend. Lips were a-smacking during our weekend get together.

I think there may have been at least one time where we've all made at least one fashion faux pas. I have on occasion have seen myself in a picture only to realize that my muffin top was noticeable or that that a certain pair of skinnies that weren't made for women that aren't skinny. So I'm no Katie Holmes or Posh Spice or Princess Katherine.

But I still can't get the image out of my head.

Well, a woman went to church with a dress like this...

Now...women of a certain size can wear this. I've met a few girls with meat on their bones wear this and pull it off but that list is pretty short. Only certain women can wear this to the club or to a party. That certain group of women also have to own the appropriate underwear for this dress to work. A woman also has to decide if she's age appropriate to wear this.

Dear Woman-that-I'm-ashamed-to-even-be-associated-with,

You can't wear this to church. I repeat: You can't wear this to church. You can't wear this with black underwear in church, especially if it's an ill-fitting pair of the high-waisted panties.You can't wear this with bra straps, especially ones that do not match the color of this dress - in church. You can't wear this meeting the bishop of the church. And although there maybe exceptions to the rule, you cannot be a grandmother and wear this type of dress. You might be able to wear this dress with a pair of jeans or dress pants and a cardigan but even that's pushing it. But you cannot wear this type of dress to my sister's confirmation or to any religious event where I have to claim you as one of our own.

Bless your little heart. I'm intervening because you might end getting posted on the People of Walmart website one day if you keep it up.

No comments: